Mike has a blooger!

Yes he does, yes he does. I was going to quote a couple sentences from it that really had an impact on me, but it turned out that the whole thing had an impact on me. So you should totally go read it. In other news, we had our first team meeting for Kosovo today, and I am finally really, really excited to go. Just thought you might like to know. Anyway, that's all for tonight. Gotta go write a final draft of a paper for Freshman Comp.

you always amazed me
but thats the past
i kept silent and it rained for days
my inside were drenched
but i guess that's the part of growing up
i never wanted to learn
and i grew into the man
that you never knew
but i wouldn't be this way
if it wasn't for you
100 thank you's
it this is love
fairy tales never came true
judies are black in full bloom
and i died in the womb
take it back, all that's gone
it's all still there like you left it
december stayed the same
nothing ever changed but you
every dream covered in dents
love can't fly tonight
couples will rest, i'll be sleepless
so cry yourself to sleep
this is about broken hearts
this is about me
bending again for nothing
i'd run to you but pain awaits
i'm coming home
but i'll be late
no deeper than imagination can be
sight with nothing to see
what's faith if i can't believe
it's everything
a cure, but i make it a disease
God take me because i hate me
~"Alone In December" by Underoath

New sidebar

Just in case you didn't notice, I added some new stuff to the sidebar, since I'm sure you're all dying to know what music I listen to and what movies I watch. Just hover over the artwork for the name of the cd/dvd. That is all.

The days get longer and the nights smell green, I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.

On a bus ride into town, I wondered out loud, "Why am I going to town?"
As I looked around at the billboards and the stores I thought, "Why do I look around?"
And I kissed the filthy ground... the first dry spot I found...
I didn't have to wonder why I was laying down.

For those of you who read this thing and don't live here in Minnesota (that means you, Topher and Jenessa... you might be the only ones who read this at all, actually), it has been unseasonably warm for the past couple days. I guess this is supposed to be the coldest week of the year on average, and it's been in the 40s. That's like 30 degrees above the average for the last 65 years. Needless to say, I've been wasting gas as I drive around with the windows down, listening to music.

Before long I was too cold... took a bus back to the station,
I found a letter left by a pay phone with no return contact
And it read like a horn blown by some sad angel,
"Bunny, it was me... it was me who let you down"
It was the shyest attempt I'd ever seen at conversation.

What music, you say? I'm glad you asked. Mostly it's been The Renaissance EP and Slowly Going the Way of the Buffalo by MxPx, Good News For People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse, and random songs by Bright Eyes and Foo Fighters. I think I'm going to make a happy-time warm weather driving mix casette so I don't have to keep changing tracks on my MP3 player in traffic where I could potentially drive off of a bridge.

But if I didn't have You as my guide, I'd still wander lost in Sinai,
Counting the plates of cars from out-of-state,
How I could jump in their path as they hurry along!
And You surround me, You're pretty but You're all I can see
Like a thick fog...
If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long.

In other news, I finally broke down and got a MySpace. I know, I know, I am now officially a trendy loser. I really only got it because 7x has been down for like a week, and the Internet is so boring without it that I had to do something, and signing up for a place that would allow me to list as many of my favorite bands as I wanted sounded like a good idea (unlike a certain blog hosting service that shall remain anonymous). All of my posts will still be here, though. MySpace's blog service sucks really, really hard.

And St. Cyril's fair always came through the first week of September
But it's already the 19th... and there's no sign of it...
Yet I have a hard time remembering all the things I should remember
And a hard time forgetting all the things that I was supposed to forget.
And, Christ, when You're ready to come back,
Then I think I'm ready for You to come back;
But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,
That's okay, too... it's, it's really none of my business.

It's kind of nice to know that college students are just and lazy and procrastinating as high school students. I had to have a rough draft of a paper done for Freshman Comp this morning so we could do peer reviewing, and the other two people in my group both wrote their papers last night, just like me. I'm not really sure why I thought college students would be any more responsible about stuff like that, but the fact remains that I did, and I'm happy to know that I was wrong. Speaking of writing, I've been thinking about writing an article for the school paper about my top 25 albums of 2005, since all of the music articles in there really suck. If it does get written, I'll post it here. In case you were wondering, all the lyrical interruptions between paragraphs are from one song, "Carousels" by mewithoutYou. I've really, really been getting into this band lately. It tears me apart inside just listening to them, and that is definitely a good thing. If you are interested in hearing them (and why shouldn't you be, since I clearly have wonderful taste in music), go check out my MySpace for one of my favorite songs by them. That's probably the best part about MySpace, the ability to share all the great music I discover with everyone else. Anywho, it somehow got to be past 3:00, and I should probably hit the sack. More to come.

And if I didn't have You as my guide, I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by
To remind me: there are places that aren't here.
And I had a well but all the water left,
So I'll go ask Your forgiveness with every breath,
And if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body... so long, dear.

Necrophonic Blasphemies of the Carnal Nihilist, Witchking of the Unholy Winterforest and the Howling Mount of Despair

I am tr00 kvlt.

There's so much beauty it could make you cry.

"Robot Lords of Tokyo, SMILE TASTE KITTENS!" - 10001110101 by Clutch

So for those of you who don't know, last Friday was my last day of high school. Ever. Basically, I'll go back for graduation (unfortunately... I don't really wanna go to the ceremony, but my parents want me to, so... meh) and the senior party, and that's it. Oh, and I might do tech for the musical since my schedule finally allows it. Now I'm taking all my classes over at Normandale, which is pretty cool, especially since PSEO pays for everything. Freshman Comp, Intro Philosophy, Graphic Design, and Music Listening, are my classes, in case you were wondering. It's weird, because I thought this would be the coolest thing ever, but the more I think about the fact that I'm done with high school forever, the harder it gets to believe that. I guess growing up scares the hell out of me sometimes. Wait, scratch that, all the time. It's just insane to think that I'm almost a quarter of the way through my life already.

"Someone cut the oxygen and took a message to the king" - Either They Decorated For Christmas Early or They're All Dead by He Is Legend

I've been up since 4:30 this morning, running on four hours of sleep, so maybe that explains a lot of the way I'm feeling. Sleep depravation does weird things to me after a while. I had to take my parents to the airport, because they're on a cruise for the next week. I was going to go home and go back to bed, but instead I drank a pot of coffee and watched Garden State, then went out and sat in the snow, listened to music, and watched the sun rise. I wrote this poem-thing after I went inside because I've had lines for one bouncing around in my head for a couple weeks, but is sucks pretty bad. Basically, it comes down to the fact that I never want to leave this place. I love Minnesota... I mean, I really love everything about this place, and I don't really know why.

"I wish I never held your hand, I wish I never knew your name,
Or I just wish that from the day we met nothing ever, ever changed" - If You Like Me Check Yes, If You Don't I'll Die by Showbread

You know that part in Garden State where Zach Braff's character is talking about home, and how one day your house just doesn't seem like a home anymore and maybe it never will and you need to start a family of your own to get that feeling? I think maybe I'm starting to go through that... either that, or I'm just scared of something like that happening. As much as I complain about my family and everything, I love them all to death, and even though part of me wants to get out of the house and live on my own, another part of me wants to stay here as long as I can.

"Let's take the longest way through the hallways of your mind.
Upon your knees, the phantom breeze of a shipwreck lost in time." - Winners by Deadsy

I hung out with DJ and Elliot today. We played board games and Guillotine all afternoon. It was sweet. Except for that Vegas game, that game sucked. Big time. I need to figure out how to play that One False Step for Mankind game, because it sounds like it might actually require some strategy and real thinking, which is awesome. Not that mindless, dice-rolling, card-drawing is a bad thing, because that's just as awesome, but I can only play the twitch shooters of the tabletop gaming world for so long before I feel the need to play a strategy-type game... that was a terrible metaphor.

"From this oversize aquarium that daddy kept cleanly
To unhealthy degrees
Writing suicide notes with invisible ink
On transparencies
And posting them to the glass boundaries that
Surround the seas of change."
- Mermaids Are Sea Sluts by Sage Francis

Do those lyric quotes get annoying? Here's another:

"Everything I've said to you I will form a spike (to drive through my throat). In order to stop my words, this time I'll put them in the ground along with my memories and my feelings" - 5 Year Winter by Zao.

In other news, I'm going back to Kosovo this summer, which is sweet. More news on that once I get more details on what we're doing and things of that nature.

"Come kiss my face goodbye,
that space below my eye and above my cheek" - Silencer by mewithoutYou.

And holy crap, I need to wrap this up and go do some homework for college tomorrow and get to bed. I promise the next entry won't be as random and depressing, and maybe, just maybe, will be sooner than later. Maybe.

Je leverai les yeux a toi-
J'ai change cent foi de nom
Je leverai les yeux a toi-
Je n'ai pas d'spoir.
- Bullet to Binary by mewithoutYou